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The Leading Logic In Sports Handicapping

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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

WOMAN'S WORDS

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most legal evi! l thing I could do to him"

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling
hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and
his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and
wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.

WIFE VS HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to! a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

STUPID AND BEAUTIFUL

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time. "

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!

COFFEE

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because
you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the! top of several pages, that it indeed says, ..... "HEBREWS"

Old Post 09-26-18 11:58 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

ATTORNEY

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed
good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Natalie," the man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else," said the madam.

"No. I must see Natalie," was the man's reply.

Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged
$1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar
bills gave them to Natalie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly
left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie.
Natalie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too
expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000.

Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went
upstairs After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that
he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went
upstairs. After their session, Natalie questioned the man.

"No one has ever used me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she
asked.

The man replied, "South Carolina."

"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."

"I know," the man said. "Your father died and I am your sister's attorney.
She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Old Post 10-02-18 10:26 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

> ABBOTT: Mac?

> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

> ABBOTT: Your computer?

> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

> ABBOTT: Mac?

> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

> ABBOTT: What about Windows?

> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

> proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

> ABBOTT: Office.

> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

> ABBOTT: I just did.

> COSTELLO: You just did what?

> ABBOTT: Recommend something.

> COSTELLO: You recommended something?

> ABBOTT: Yes.

> COSTELLO: For my office?

> ABBOTT: Yes.

> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

> ABBOTT: Office.

> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

> ABBOTT: Word.

> COSTELLO: What word?

> ABBOTT: Word in Office.

> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with

> some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

> ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

> COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of

> your business. Just tell me what I need!

> ABBOTT: Real One.

> COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

> ABBOTT: Of course.

> COSTELLO: Great! With what?

> ABBOTT: Real One.

> COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

> ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

> COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

> ABBOTT: The blue "1."

> COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

> ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W"

> is Word.

> COSTELLO: What word?

> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

> COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

> ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

> COSTELLO: It is?

> ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

> COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

> ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even

> part of Office.

> COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial

> bookkeeping?

> You have anything I can track my money with?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer

> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?

> How much?

> ABBOTT: One copy.

> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

>

> A FEW DAYS LATER . .

>

> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

> COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

> ABBOTT: Click on "START".....

Old Post 10-11-18 09:53 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

A WOMAN AT A HARDWARE STORE

This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store....

Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent
his wife Mary Louise to the hardware store.

At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Joe Bob, the manager, to finish waiting on a
customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot.
Joe Bob replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed.

Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and
Joe Bob went to the backroom to find it. From the backroom Joe Bob yelled,
"Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"

To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

Old Post 10-25-18 02:33 AM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

KIDS INTERVIEWED ABOUT MARRIAGE:

WHO SHOULD YOU MARRY?

( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

( 1 ) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

( 1 ) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8

( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

( 1 ) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

( 1 ) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

( 2 ) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

( 3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

( 1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
-- Theodore, age 8

( 2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........


HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

( 1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Old Post 11-04-18 10:32 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.

The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse one more time,...but .alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,

"Listen

very

carefully .......

for

the

last

time .......

I said.....

"BRING POSSE"

Old Post 11-13-18 11:07 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

HEAD

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!

But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son on to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left...then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says...




"He should have quit while he was a head!"

Old Post 11-19-18 10:48 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

Dear Employees

Cleaned up to post here.

Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr__k.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Old Post 11-24-18 09:48 PM
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Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

The Preacher

A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.

Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending
the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain't never seen anything like that."

Old Post 12-06-18 10:48 PM
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oldguy


Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396

Anniversary Present (a Taser)

This was submitted by a guy who thoughtfully bought his lovely wife a "pocket taser" for their anniversary. Don't be drinking liquids when you read this, I'm warning you.
==============================
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. I bought something really cool for my wife, Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety -- way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to.

Awesome!!! but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it
would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that; a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a
three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY GUACAMOLE! DANG!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

(Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.

SON-OF-A-BUCK that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and
my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs., I'm pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward.

Still in shock,
Tommy

Old Post 12-11-18 10:27 PM
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Posts: 396

Blonde Joke

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

Old Post 12-19-18 10:56 PM
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Posts: 396

HOLY WATER

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and
shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he
had.

The little boy replied: "This is the most powerful liquid in the world,
it's called turpentine."

The Preist responded: "No the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy
Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant
women's belly, she will pass a healthy child"

The little boy replied. "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it
on a cat's ass and he 'll pass a Harley Davidson."

Old Post 12-19-18 10:58 PM
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Posts: 396

Surgery

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with
An oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"



Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."


He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"



Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"



The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was very nice but listen very, very closely - are... my... test...results...back?

Old Post 01-03-19 01:44 AM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

*bump*

I love this thread!




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 02-07-19 06:50 PM
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ronnie111
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Feb 2009
Posts: 7085

Q---where do all the one legged waitresses work?

I-HOP

Old Post 02-24-19 06:40 AM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

*bump*

I love this thread!




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 05-07-19 10:31 PM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

A skinny little Irish guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irish guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little Irish guy faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little Irish guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me? "

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 15 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "oh thank God, I thought you said turn around."




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 08-23-19 01:31 AM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

Yes. These are all real!
https://imgur.com/gallery/K732NJO?s=sms




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 09-08-19 04:38 PM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

Bill Burr
Paper Tiger
(This should be mandatory for everyone!)




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 09-11-19 03:38 AM
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Breadman
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 6075

https://youtu.be/aLkTuWdKrqY




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VURr6jnWQ

https://i.imgur.com/02QbIyb.jpg

Old Post 10-11-19 08:06 PM
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