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douglas
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Oct 2005
Posts: 17915
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love that cisco ..........gonna post it in the hockey room next door if you dont mind
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11-24-11 01:57 AM |
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SliPKnuT
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512
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Passengers on a plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both are wearing dark glasses. One is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start.
The passengers begin glancing nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, screams of panic fill the cabin. But at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."
Ambrose Bierce
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12-13-11 03:59 AM |
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duckman
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 2703
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I hear
the LSU Tigers are still in New Orleans.
Their attempt to get back to Baton Rogue has been thwarted because someone painted a 50-yard line outside the Super Dome.
All things being equal, when in doubt, take the underdog.
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01-14-12 02:36 AM |
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markinc7
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Nov 2008
Posts: 2877
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This happened about a month ago just outside a little town
in the low
Country of West Virginia, and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock tale,
it's real. A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a
really dark
Night in the middle of a thunder storm.
... Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so
hard he could
Hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car
moving
Slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It
slowly crept
Toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride really bad, the guy jumped in the car and closed
the door,
Only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel.
The car
Slowly started moving and the guy was terrified, too scared to
think of
Jumping out and running.
The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve,
still too
Scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life;
he was sure
The ghost car would go off the road and into the marsh and he
would surely
Drown, when just before the curve, a hand appeared through the
driver's
Window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the
Bend.
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every
time they
Reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all
he could
Take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering,
ordered two
Shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural
experience.
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they
realized the
Guy was telling the truth and was not just some drunk.
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one
says to the
Other: "Look Bubba, there's that idiot who rode in our car when
we were
Pushing it in the rain."
"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
Thomas Jefferson
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."
Albert Einstein
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02-25-12 12:16 AM |
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer
Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262
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A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.
http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm
America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!
Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.
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05-08-12 06:22 AM |
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Birdieman3
Registered: Sep 2011
Posts: 143
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Chinese man
I was standing in a bar downtown yesterday, and this little
Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking
a beer.
I said to him, "Do you know any martial arts, like Kung-Fu,
Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"
He says "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee"?
"No", I say, "It's because you're drinking my beer you little prick".
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09-13-12 11:55 PM |
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