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buster65@bellso
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 1378

HEY TDBABE




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6AewsqzhTQ


"do not have sex with an animal that has not been declawed"

"MAMA HAS APPROVED THIS MESSAGE"

Old Post 06-13-07 03:03 AM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

HEY HANDSOME!




Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.

http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

Old Post 06-13-07 04:27 AM
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buster65@bellso
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2003
Posts: 1378

you will come to north carolina one day and you will need me to show you around! i will wax up the pinto and take you to all the hot spots




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6AewsqzhTQ


"do not have sex with an animal that has not been declawed"

"MAMA HAS APPROVED THIS MESSAGE"

Old Post 06-13-07 04:42 AM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

Any hot spots on the Outer Banks? I believe that is far from where you are located.

I actually started looking for my family history when you mentioned N.C., but turns out my roots go way back to Revolutionary times in S.C. (and Georgia and Florida).

When I decide to travel south, I'll let you know. How many miles on that Pinto of yours?




Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.

http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

Old Post 06-13-07 06:10 AM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely
declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a
question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500 and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.




Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.

http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

Old Post 06-13-07 11:15 PM
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Chico1856
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he
asked, "Are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 06-19-07 04:38 PM
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FireMillen
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Jan 2007
Posts: 3665

Those are great.




Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

Old Post 06-22-07 09:49 PM
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Riverfish
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Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intentively on the youth's multicolored mowhawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responeded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 06-22-07 10:42 PM
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Carlos019


Registered: Apr 2007
Posts: 476

vERY FUNNY

Old Post 06-24-07 12:10 PM
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NY-Sports Fan
Banned User

Registered: Jun 2007
Posts: 326

Not intended for the Buster Bros. to read

The Gorillia and the redneck

A small zoo in Tennessee obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
>
> Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to
handle.
> Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla
was
> in heat.
>
> To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking
about
> their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck
> part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
>
> Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample
> ability
> to satisfy a female of any species.
>
> The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was
> approached
> with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
> $500.00?
>
> Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter
> over carefully.
>
> The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but
only
> under four conditions
>
> 1. "First," Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The
> Keeper
> quickly agreed to this condition.
>
> 2. "Second," he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The
Keeper
> again readily agreed to this condition.
>
> 3. "Third," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern
> Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
>
> 4. And last, Bobby Lee said "I'll need another week to come up with
the
> $500.00

Old Post 06-25-07 03:20 AM
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NY-Sports Fan
Banned User

Registered: Jun 2007
Posts: 326

Enemies

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked,
How many of you have forgiven your enemies?
80% held up their hands up.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
small elderly lady.
Mrs. Jones?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
Oh Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,

Faced the congregation, and said: 'I outlived the bitches.'




Ragtop:Banned User
Registered: Orginal Forum: Circa: 7/02-Revised forum 01-09-03
Exiled/Banned: 06-22-06-
Self Resurrected: 06-10-07

Old Post 07-05-07 03:21 PM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

humor.....

That's a great one NY sportsfan!




How do you blindfold a Asian guy?


.....put dental floss over his eyes!

Old Post 07-05-07 11:08 PM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

I love this one, 5*!

The Duck and the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over
here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this; with the
"Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three
Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to
go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.


The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to
the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end,
sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart.
Now it's my turn."

[I love this part....]

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 07-07-07 09:01 PM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

That was hilarious!!!!!!! Thanks Riverfish.

Old Post 07-07-07 11:17 PM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

3*

Mommy & "Uncle" Frank

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 07-10-07 02:12 AM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

5* I like this one !

Baseball Heaven?

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 07-10-07 02:21 AM
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NY-Sports Fan
Banned User

Registered: Jun 2007
Posts: 326

Man Joke

That's not right....
One night , after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back.
He ran his hand over her
breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirme d a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
" Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, " I found the remote




Ragtop:Banned User
Registered: Orginal Forum: Circa: 7/02-Revised forum 01-09-03
Exiled/Banned: 06-22-06-
Self Resurrected: 06-10-07

Old Post 07-15-07 11:21 PM
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SliPKnuT
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Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

Drunk Animals

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8893831415245995012&q=DRUNK




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 07-21-07 08:01 PM
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SliPKnuT
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

New Farrelly brothers movie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-I6oRjR4LQ




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 07-23-07 07:00 AM
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SliPKnuT
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

Doug from Ghost World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaKPWelHSTU




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 07-24-07 03:07 AM
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