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Tots_McGee
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Feb 2010
Posts: 3074
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A teacher asked the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
LITTLE BRIAN REPLIED:
"I WANNA START OUT AS A NAVY PILOT, THEN BE A BILLIONAIRE, GO TO THE MOST EXPENSIVE CLUBS, FIND ME THE FINEST wh*re, GIVE HER A FERRARI WORTH OVER A MILLION BUCKS, AN APARTMENT IN COPACABANA, A MANSION IN PARIS, A JET TO TRAVEL THROUGHOUT EUROPE, AN INFINITE VISA CARD, AND ALL THE WHILE BANGING HER LIKE A LOOSE SCREEN DOOR IN A HURRICANE."
THE TEACHER, SHOCKED, AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH THIS HORRIBLE RESPONSE FROM LITTLE BRIAN, DECIDED NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HE SAID AND SIMPLY TRIED TO CONTINUE WITH THE LESSON .
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Brian's wh*re."
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02-13-15 04:18 AM |
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oldguy
Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 396
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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the
Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist,
looked straight into his eyes,
and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The Pharmacist asked,
"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied,
"I need it to poison my husband."
The Pharmacist's eyes grew big and he explained,
"Lord have mercy! I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband,
that's against the law!
I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of bad things will happen.
Absolutely not!
You can not have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled
out a picture of her husband in bed with
the Pharmacist's wife.
The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said,
"You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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03-18-15 03:50 AM |
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Tots_McGee
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Feb 2010
Posts: 3074
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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replied, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're knocked over, but continue to ask: "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?" "I lied about my age," Bob replied. "What? Did you tell her you were only 50?" Bob smiled and said, "No, I told her I was 90."
http://mainememorial.org/
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07-17-15 08:13 PM |
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markinc7
FoxDen Hall of Famer
Registered: Nov 2008
Posts: 2877
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An NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster
speaking in Ontario, says:
"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."
"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot.
"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs."
“Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods", and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."
"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.”
Yes we should promote tolerance. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point...
It is either past your bedtime, or its midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.
GLTA
"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
Thomas Jefferson
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."
Albert Einstein
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07-21-15 02:07 PM |
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