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Riverfish
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Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

This is the video I meant to post earlier, sorry tdbabe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWThRmRW6GE

Old Post 10-19-07 09:44 AM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

Thanks Riverfish! This guy is talented.....4 voices, amazing. Funny stuff......"on a stick". lol




Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.

http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

Old Post 10-19-07 02:59 PM
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Riverfish
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Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

This guy is great, compilation on many, definately worth watching!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyVPse-HDxo

Old Post 10-19-07 10:04 PM
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Chico1856
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

The Halloween Party

A husband and wife were scheduled to attend a Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the Halloween party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed; and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by her not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain, and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.

As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His Wife went up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear

and she agreed. So off they went to her car and made passionate love in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed. She began to wonder what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

'Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there.'

Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'

He replied, 'I'll tell you; I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Doug, Bill, and some other guy. So we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.

'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my costume to your brother. He said he had the time of his life!'




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 10-24-07 08:03 PM
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Riverfish
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Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

This has to be part of the best humor thread of all-time.

Compliments of Cisco........


Yet another sad Miami story............

Miami, Fl (AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of Miami-Dade County courtroom drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 10-27-07 07:14 AM
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SliPKnuT
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Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

South Park record breaking poo...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YFJuW-jk8IU




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 10-28-07 10:14 PM
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eels
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Registered: Dec 2005
Posts: 2958

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood
the instructions I gave you yesterday...Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Old Post 10-31-07 06:53 PM
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(_X_)-KMA


Registered: Sep 2007
Posts: 120

:-)

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week
bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing
himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip
club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya
doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual
and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly
uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I
always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms
around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby.
Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the
club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam
the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how
the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is
having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
calling him every 4-letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real
***** this time."




The former Poster Ragtop
Registered: Orginal Forum: Circa: 7/02-Revised forum 01-09-03 Posts:5518
Exiled/Banned: 06-22-06-

Old Post 11-01-07 12:57 AM
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Chico1856
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 11-01-07 07:07 PM
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Chico1856
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Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

Last May, Boudreaux married an attractive woman, Lola, half his age.

After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and
according to her Grand Momma, all Cajun women are entitled to a climax once
in a while.

So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the large-animal Vet since there was
no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Mamou. The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did
recall how, during the hot summer, his Momma and Daddy would fan a cow that was
having any difficulty breeding with a big towel. This would cool her down and make
her relax.

So, the Vet told them to hire a strong virile, young man to wave a big towel over them
while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool
down, relax, and then climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from the big city of Lafayette to wave that
big towel over them as the Vet suggested. After many efforts, Lola still had not c
limaxed! They went back to the Vet. The Vet said for Lola to change partners and let
the young man have sex with her while Boudreaux waved the big towel.

They tried it that night and Lola went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one
right after the other for about two and a half hours. When it was over, Boudreaux looked
down at the exhausted young man and in a cocky manner said,

"And dat, my friend, is how you wave a towel!"




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 11-02-07 09:07 PM
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tdbabe
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Oct 2003
Posts: 7262

A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you sir?', he asked the second man. 'Hmmm...let me see. 'A blink! It comes
and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.' He then turned to the
third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an
instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed
of light,' he said.

Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing
the previous three Answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response. 'Oh sure', said Old Bubba. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already **** my pants.'

Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you! You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on!....

Have a good day!!




Please view this site. Donations of any kind are always appreciated by these brave people.

http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

Old Post 11-03-07 02:37 AM
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SliPKnuT
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Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

Hi...

Zack Scott

Carwash reminds me of my buddy who has panic attacks over the funniest things.

I once watched him get stuck in his Harley jacket and he had a panic attack. The farmer we work with said it looked like he had a bees nest inside his coat.

"LET ME OUT!!!! GET IT OFFFFF!!!!!!!!"

Anyway Zack Scott's quick tips remind me of something else too LOL!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/ZackScott

Old Post 11-07-07 08:21 PM
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Riverfish
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Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

The Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.


Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it, but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that sinceher husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 PM Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 PM sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"


With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why, yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500! " Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player.




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 11-11-07 02:26 AM
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SliPKnuT
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Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

Now THAT, my friends, is a great joke about a smart hooligan!!!

I hate cheatin' bastards, but that guy is so savvy I think I'll drop the cheating part LOL!!!




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 11-11-07 06:21 AM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

Animal Football

One weekend the little animals and the big animals decided to play a football game.

As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball, they would run it in for a touchdown.

Then came the second half...

First play: The hippo runs the ball up the middle. Bam!!! Tackled for a four yard loss. The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other.

"Who made that tackle?" asked the flea.

"I did," said the centipede.

Second play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. Bam!!! Tackled for a five yard loss.

Back in the huddle the ant asked, "Who made that great stop?"

"I did," said the centipede.

Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the rhinoceros throwing the lead block and Bam!!! The centipede tackles him for a ten-yard loss. Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?"

The centipede said, "Puttin' on my shoes!"




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 11-12-07 11:16 PM
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SliPKnuT
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 2512

Extreme Caterpillar Breakdance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpWATMtTPkk&NR=1




"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."

Ambrose Bierce

Old Post 11-23-07 04:51 PM
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Chico1856
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
pearly gates.


'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,'You must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of woman's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And
just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 11-25-07 12:45 AM
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Chico1856
StatFox Hall of Famer

Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 6165

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of
her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with
the tail over to WALMART!

Why WALMART???










WALMART is the largest retailer in the world...




http://unmetneeds.com/

LIFE: Sometimes you're the baby, sometimes you're the diaper

Old Post 11-25-07 03:29 PM
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Curdawg
StatFox Legend

Registered: Feb 2007
Posts: 7463

like it Chico

I saw on the news where they did a study and men start acting like kids and say and do dumb things around pretty blondes!

Evie a blonde and every morning i have to clean the wite-out off my computer screen, haven't got the heart to tell her no....vic

Old Post 11-25-07 03:44 PM
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Riverfish
FoxDen Hall of Famer

Registered: Dec 2006
Posts: 2913

Life's a *****.............










So don't vote for one!!!




My YouTube Channel

Old Post 11-27-07 09:41 AM
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