A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
So she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?'

The blonde said, 'No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'

The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurized?'

The blonde said, 'No, just up to my
Ti ts. I can splash it on my eyes.'

good one.

That was sort of funny tex. thanks.

> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

> ABBOTT: Mac?

> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

> ABBOTT: Your computer?

> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

> ABBOTT: Mac?

> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

> ABBOTT: What about Windows?

> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

> proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

> ABBOTT: Office.

> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

> ABBOTT: I just did.

> COSTELLO: You just did what?

> ABBOTT: Recommend something.

> COSTELLO: You recommended something?

> ABBOTT: Yes.

> COSTELLO: For my office?

> ABBOTT: Yes.

> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

> ABBOTT: Office.

> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

> ABBOTT: Word.

> COSTELLO: What word?

> ABBOTT: Word in Office.

> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with

> some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

> ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

> COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of

> your business. Just tell me what I need!

> ABBOTT: Real One.

> COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

> ABBOTT: Of course.

> COSTELLO: Great! With what?

> ABBOTT: Real One.

> COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

> ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

> COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

> ABBOTT: The blue "1."

> COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

> ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W"

> is Word.

> COSTELLO: What word?

> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

> COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

> ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

> COSTELLO: It is?

> ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

> COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

> ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even

> part of Office.

> COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial

> bookkeeping?

> You have anything I can track my money with?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer

> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

> ABBOTT: Money.

> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?

> How much?

> ABBOTT: One copy.

> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

>

> A FEW DAYS LATER . .

>

> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

> COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

> ABBOTT: Click on "START"....