Here are some talking points that I used successfully when I went to the Ravens game in Houston. Disclaimer: these only work before the game and not after your team gets destroyed.
The only reason the Texans won the division last year is because Peyton got hurt.
They are 11-1 because they play in the easiest division in football this year.
Do defense for a decade and then get back to me (this one only applies if your defense has been good for at least a decade)
RD...a few things I learned in my time in Houston. Shiner Bock is awesome, very good beer. Awesome tacos at a gas station...who da thunk that one. Morning radio is absolutely terrible although the second date update is pretty funny.